4 Tips to Surviving a Vacation with Your Partner

A vacation is a great way to not only de-stress and explore the world but also strengthen your relationship if you’re traveling with your significant other. However, you may go from seeing each other every morning and evening to being in each other’s space every minute of the day in a foreign environment, often in a small hotel room. This relaxation time can quickly turn into irritations and arguments. We've all been there. I love my husband, but let's be real: if we are together 24/7 without any space, we can get on each other’s nerves. This is inevitable, but here are four tips to survive your vacation with your significant other.

1. Know Your Vacation Styles

Are you both adventurers, all-inclusive loungers, or opposite personalities? Start by talking about what you’re looking to get out of this vacation. My husband and I love to explore as much of a country as we can rather than sit in one place for too long. In that at least, we are similar, which makes choosing our destination and activities a bit easier. However, he has the energy of the Energizer Bunny and won't know when to put the brakes on until I say something. 

It took a couple of trips, but we finally figured out the proper balance of planned activities and free time to ensure we get as much as possible out of the trip without feeling like we’re going to collapse. We’re both early risers, so we try to schedule a tour early in the morning and early in the trip to get to know our destination. Leaving the afternoon mostly open allows time to get lost and have fun experiences exploring together.

If you both have opposite travel styles, it’s okay to have separate activities planned. My husband and his family are polar opposites in this sense, so when he takes a trip with them, he schedules some solo tours so he can explore while his family takes it easy at or near the hotel. After a few hours of their own time, they then meet up again to do something they can both enjoy together, like going out to a restaurant. You are not glued to each other’s hips, so if one person doesn’t enjoy something, it’s okay to have separate plans. This often leads to a more enjoyable experience as one won’t be a downer complaining and ruining the mood for the other. When you meet up again, you’ll also have something to talk about.

2. Find the Balance of Planning Together

To ensure everyone gets what they want out of the trip, it’s important that everyone has a say. Whether one is an organized planner (present!) or one is more laissez-faire but still has particular interests and dislikes, it’s important to come up with at least a loose itinerary for the trip.

On our trip to Italy, we had absolutely nothing planned or booked aside from hotels and cities. Though the trip was still wonderful and memorable, we did spend a lot of time wandering around looking for landmarks, restaurants, etc. When there’s a ton to do but no plan on how to do them, it’s easy to miss out on experiences. We walked plenty but missed out on sites that we wanted to see, like the Vatican and the Galleria dell’Accademia.

Having felt like we needed to better plan our trips, our trip to Portugal was the complete opposite, with multiple tours booked each day. We saw all of Lisbon and traveled to multiple cities for a few day trips, but by the end of the trip, we were exhausted and never had free time to take in suggestions from the locals or just get lost exploring on our own.

One of the most balanced trips we had was our Asia trip. We booked tours early in the trip to get to know the cities and made sure no tours were back-to-back, ensuring we had some time to breathe. Most days only had a single tour in the first half of the day, and a few included an evening/night tour like ghost tours and bar crawls. This allowed the perfect balance to explore on our own at our own pace, take in the sights, and find all the good bites. Even on the morning/night tour days, we had time in the afternoon for a recovery nap and a leisurely stroll around in search of lunch and dinner. The only time we bit off more than we could chew was booking a last-minute morning tour the day after a bar crawl. Though the tour was fantastic, we were too tired and hungover to enjoy it to the fullest (we’re not kids anymore, after all 😅), but our tour guide was able to suggest some great hangover remedy dishes afterward, so it all worked out in the end.

3. Use Your Strengths

We all have our strengths and weaknesses. My husband is fantastic with anything food-related—from cooking to discovering dining destinations, he is the king of food. Anytime we travel, he is in charge of finding us places to eat, and he always finds amazing spots. For me, I’m a very organized planner, so when it comes to scheduling and keeping our itinerary organized, that’s my realm. 

Know your strong suits and interests and see what you can apply to your travels. Maybe one of you knows multiple languages or is great at picking up phrases, in which case you become the speaker of the group. Or, if one of you has connections around the world, coordinate with those connections to get tips and maybe a private tour. Whatever strengths you have, know them and use them. If you don’t know your strengths, feel free to ask your partner. They may be able to help you realize and better apply them for your trip.

4. Stay Fed

Hanger is the enemy. I can’t speak for everyone, but I can for myself: when I’m hangry, I’m not going to enjoy anything until I'm fed, and my poor husband will have to deal with my attitude until then. I know it’s a fault of mine, but I’m not alone, and there’s an easy remedy as mentioned in this famous quote, “Feed me, Seymour!” (Little Shop of Horrors).

On our honeymoon to Italy, my husband booked an early morning tour, and there were no cafes, zero bites to be found, and an absence of the ever-important caffeine. On top of that, the tour had multiple bus rides to different cities and no breaks until mid-morning, forcing me to go fasted for hours. While some may like fasting, my husband being one, I do not, and at the very least, I need some sort of caffeine in my life. So, unleashing the beast of hunger, I became very angry as my stomach growled for sustenance until I was finally able to catch a break and stop in a small cafe for a cup of coffee (for which Italy is my favorite, but I digress) and a delectable pastry. The beast was fed and happy, and the remainder of our tour was a success. We both learned a valuable lesson that day: keep me fed and caffeinated for a happy experience for all. Whether that means waking up early to schedule a quick breakfast before an adventure or packing snacks to last a day trip, food and drink are definitely incorporated into our planning to save us both from the unfed monster of Hanger.

Now that you’re armed with these helpful tips, go and book that next vacation with your partner! Comment any tips you may have or any struggles you’ve faced from your own experiences. If you liked this article and felt it was full of helpful information for your next trip, please share it with your partner, a friend, or anyone who comes to mind that may also benefit from these tips. Happy travels!